no more waking up alone

At the first sign of it, in that first breath of semiconsciousness, I think of you. I inhale and smell you on my pillow, even if you haven’t been in my bed for a week. I exhale and roll over into arms that aren’t there, content that I can remember what they feel like, counting the days until I’m wrapped up in them again. Then I smile. I wonder about the next time I’ll wake up with the actual scent of you, in your actual arms; the next time we'll make love to mark the sunrise and not the sunset. Then I sigh and get out of bed.

I never really wake up alone anymore. But it’s always better when you’re there.