It would be so easy to make the title of this entry "ch-ch-ch-changes," but god almighty, how cliché and boring would that be? And then I would be quoting Bowie when I had the chance to quote Melissa.
Do people ever change? Can we, really? Is it possible to change? Not change who we are, but change our behaviors, our thoughts, reactions, opinions? Or are we just showing different parts of ourselves at different times of our lives. Do we rotate our "personalities" to conform to our situations, or to defy them, even?
I think true change, if it's at all possible, can only come when we're not actively trying to make a change. More like evolving based on our life experiences instead of consciously changing.
And is this all just a matter of semantics?
When you're trying to make a change, you are completely aware of the different courses of action you're taking, and I think I am of the mind that you can change something just by observing it, so maybe the power lies in others. Of course, that just might be a way to avoid the responsibility of making a change for yourself and pin your inability to change on someone else.
New Year's resolutions. Why not decide to make a change on August 17? Just an excuse not to make a change. Or if you make a change temporarily on January 1, and you fuck up in February, you can claim the pressure of a New Year's resolution was just too much. You'll do it next year, really, you will.
And why do we get uncomfortable when other people change? We may not realize it, but it happens, more than we'd like to admit. When other people change, intentionally or not, we have to accept that change, at least acknowledge it. If we don't, we have to be prepared to let them go. And why not? This new changed person doesn't fit the same profile anymore. She may not even meet the same needs. Sometimes we have people in our lives to fit very specific needs, voids, and if those people change and no longer meet those needs, why do we still need them? There are those people who will try to keep you from changing to meet your own needs so that you keep on meeting their needs. Those are the people you need to run away from -- fast.
Not to say you have to establish a whole new circle of friends if you go through some major change, but the ones in your current circle will show you who they are and why they're there. If they bolt, you're better off. If they try to keep you from changing, you should bolt, and you'll be better off. If you they accept you as you change and grow, then you made the right decision bringing them into your circle in the first place.
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